Final verdict: Standing desk, and where I am right now.

So I've been trying the standing desk for a month, and today, I decided to dismantle it and go back to my regular desk.

Why?

Well, I gave this thing a herculean try, but I found it was just driving me away from my desk and into the living room, instead of encouraging me to stand more. As it turns out... my feet HATED it. My legs and back felt great, but I felt the beginning of arch pain that I could NOT risk turning into plantar fasciitis.

Most importantly? I missed my cat.

You see, I have a fat, 11-year-old cat who is my work partner and lap buddy. Since I switched to the standing desk, I haven't had him.

Overall, I didn't feel like the benefits outweighed the negatives, for me. Was it a fun experiment? Absolutely! I think that I may try again in the future when I can afford to get a little more equipment, like proper shoes and a mat to stand on.

Where am I, right now?

I'm in limbo. No, I don't mean my physical location. ;) I'm still in Georgia, and there's a nice, vigorous rainstorm going on at the moment.

No, I'm talking about my weight loss routine. I'm stagnant. I'm paying for a gym membership that I can't get out of, and haven't used, in months, although honestly I would love to... I just can't get the motivation to go.

I did go by a bike shop today to inquire about bike rides they do weekly; they do regular 25 mile rides several times a week.

I need to get my head in the right place. I'm not even tracking my food, and making terrible choices. I've gained about 5 lbs.

This is unacceptable.

My goal for this week and next: To get in three weight training sessions. The other things will follow.

Diet is nice, but exercise?

So I've figured out one of the reasons I've struggled to lose weight lately.

It's exercise.

Now, to be clear, I have lost weight; I just tend to lose it, gain it, and back again. My diet is mostly in tune, but I have a tendency to eat high.

Why?

Because I'm simply not satiated on less. I will never be able to function on 1200-1500 calories. My current range is 1400-1700 or so. This suits me, for the most part, but without exercise, I have to eat at the bottom of the range to do more than just maintain (which is what I've done since my 3 lb loss. It has stayed off, though!)

The secret, for me, is exercise. With exercise, I can eat more. When I work out, I like the balls-to-the-wall classes, like kickboxing. The more I exercise, the more I can eat! I am pretty good at getting lots of protein, so I don't need massive quantities.

Exercise has more benefits than an increased calorie range, though.

When I exercise, my moods are SO much better. I'll ride the high from a tough class for at least a day, and just feel fantastic. I ache less, and my arthritis bothers me less.

I understand that not everyone can join a gym. Not everyone has to. Maybe your exercise of choice is a video, or even a walk. I don't really think the kind of exercise you do is nearly as important as enjoying the exercise you do.

One critical component of exercise is strength training; without it, your program is incomplete, and you're abandoning the most important thing you can do. Strength training boosts your metabolism, and helps you look and feel better in the skin you're in. I love to lift weights, although I do keep a set of resistance bands at home. Not to mention, if you're not strength training, as much as 25% of your weight loss can come from lean muscle... which *drops* your metabolism. To preserve it, you need to hit the weights! (Or body weight exercises, or resistance bands. You get the idea.)

The point is, while you can lose weight by diet alone... it's so much harder. Exercise provides more than just weight loss benefits... it has incalculable benefits inside and outside of your body.

Best of all? It gets you away from this computer. ;)

Exercise makes my whole day better.

Getting to the gym for a workout sets me up for a successful day from right in the beginning.

It gets me up early so I'm available to do the things I need to do. I'm a night owl by nature, and am happiest staying up until 3 AM and sleeping until 11 AM.  This is not, however, conducive to productive daily living.  When I go to the gym, I'm back home by 10:30 at the latest, and ready to work. Often, I'm home earlier than that and get more done before folks at HQ are even awake (I'm on the east coast, and work for a company on the west coast.)

It makes me more likely to make better decisions later.

I eat better. I'm not going to come home flush from a workout and stuff myself with sugary cereal or junk food. I'm going to have a protein shake, or make myself some turkey sausage.  It also makes me more mindful of the things I put in my body so that I'm refueling properly.

I move more. I'm more likely to do something active AFTER a gym workout than before.  Today, I rode the half mile to the nearby Fred's on my bike, instead of driving.  No reason not to, and I was already awake and functional. Lately, I've been driving to the store.

I sleep better at night. When I'm active, I just plain sleep better. I sleep more quickly (normally I'm up for an hour or more trying to fall asleep) because I've used my body, and it has more need of the rest.

I hurt less. The less I move, the more I hurt. My back will start aching from poor posture, my joints start to hurt from the arthritis (I'm only 33.)   In short, exercise makes me just plain feel better.

I'm in a better mood. This means I yell at my kids less, they behave better, I snap at my husband less, and overall, this whole family is happier.

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

I love to move. I love exercising. I love being active. I never want to stop!

Not only do I feel stronger, I look stronger.

Part of my weight loss journey has been the discovery that I love to lift weights. It makes me feel so powerful; I don't bother with those stupid little 2 and 5 lb girlie weights (although I do own a single purple 5 lb hand weight, I don't use it) anymore, I lift as heavy I as I can!

It's paying off. Not only do I look better than I did (and honestly, though I've lost 21 lbs, thanks to the strength training, I look like I've lost more!) but I feel amazing.  I love the burn... my husband thinks I'm nuts, but I really do love that rolling burn that slides down your muscles after finishing a particularly tough set.

And it's starting to show. I mean REALLY show! Yes, my definition's a bit pillowy yet, but it's real definition... the fat's going away, and I'm starting to look powerful, not just feel it.

Wow. Thatsalotta freckles. ;)

I wear more sleeveless shirts now, because I'm PROUD of my arms!  I don't have to hide in enormous t-shirts anymore.

Do I still look pregnant? Not anymore. I haven't had anyone ask me when I was due in a while. I still have tummy fat... quite a bit of it. I'm not quite halfway to my goal weight. But having visible reminders of the fact that I AM doing something for my body, something GOOD? Helps. I'm not hanging my hat on the scale. This is a non-scale-victory, a NSV.  The NSVs are more important to me than what the scale says. If I look good in my skin, feel good, and have the confidence to be in public?

THAT is what matters.

Tonight, I'm going for a run. Not because I need to, but because I want to. I never thought I'd feel like actually running for fun, but I do tonight!

Change your way of thinking

It's funny how we get ourselves into a rut. We think about doing things one way not because it's the best way, but because it's what we're used to. We run the same path, we do the same exercises, we eat the same things, drive the same way to work... everything we do is habitual.

Right now, it's 82 degrees in my house. It's 90 something outside. I wanted to go for a run, but frankly, it's just too damn hot, and I don't want the sun in my eyes anyway.  So I was wallowing on the couch, hand over my eyes (no, seriously. Completely like the melodramatic stuff you see in the movies.) Moaning about how I wanted to run, and couldn't.

"Honey?"  My husband comes in the room.

"WHAT?" I snap crankily.

"What's wrong?"

"I want to run, but it's too hot. I wish I had somewhere to go running inside."

"Don't you have a gym membership?"

"Huh?"

"You know, gym? Treadmill?"

I stare at him like he's grown an extra head.

The funny part? I go to a gym a couple miles down the road for my classes, but the company recently bought a satellite location close to my house.

How close, you ask?

.25 miles. No, that's not a typo. I can actually get there in less than 5 minutes, on foot, without crossing any streets. As the crow flies, it's probably like .1 miles.

*headdesk*

I didn't think of it, because, well... I don't run inside. I like to run outside. In my defense, I was thinking of something like an indoor track. But I want to run, and I have access to a gym. With treadmills.

So after my meeting here in a minute or two, I'm going to go to the gym, and run in 90 degree weather. On a treadmill.

So when you think you can't do something, or you're in a rut, try thinking outside your self-defined box. Maybe you'll think of a solution you didn't before. Maybe the answer is staring you in the face. Talk it over with someone... even someone who isn't into the things you are. Maybe they'll think of something you didn't.

Like that gym membership you haven't used in a week.

Have I mentioned I love my husband?

Photo by FindingFlora

But I need a workout buddy!

You know, I hear this a lot. I used to be the queen of this. I wanted to work out, and I knew I always do better with a friend. A few years back, I did kickboxing for a year, and loved it... I had a friend talk me into it, and we kept each other accountable. I loved having her there. 

So this time, when I was getting ready to make the change, I kept trying to nag my friends into joining me. I didn't want to do go by myself, because I know myself... I thrive on the social interaction! 

One day, though, I stepped on the scale. 

Two hundred and eleven pounds. 

I decided that day to go join a gym. I'd seen some signs for a local one just down the street, offering a two week trial for $14. I figured $1 a day was worth a try. 

So I started going. BY MYSELF. It was scary. I wandered around, a little confused and aimless, trying this or that weight machine. Hating myself as I walked on a treadmill. 

Then I noticed the gym offered classes. 

Fast forward 8 months. 

Now, I have friends I work out with. They text me when I don't show up, talk about their lives to me. I didn't make them go, I met them there! Instead of waiting for someone else to start my lifestyle change, I relied on myself, and the thing I wanted happened. I made friends, instead of bringing them. I still try to get my friends to come with me, but I'm not waiting on them to make my life better. 

And you shouldn't either. If you can't get a friend to go... go alone. Make new friends. 


Photo courtesy Seattle Municipal Archives

Why I lift heavy

Someone posted this really great article in the Fitness forums, and I have to say, I agree with all of it.

Not long ago, I posted a blog on Sparkpeople about overcoming my fear of truly lifting heavy. But I never really explained why I want to.

Too many women are deathly afraid of weights. They've gotten into the myth of "low weight, high reps" for "toning" instead of "bulking up."

Which is unfortunately for them, a TOTAL myth!  Women as a general rule, just can't bulk up.  It's not in our genetic makeup! We're built different from men. And surprisingly, even men don't bulk up that way easily. It takes a LOT of hard work... hours and hours of lifting like a body builder, eating at a massive calorie surplus, taking supplements, and seriously trying. You can't accidentally bulk up by picking up 10 lb weights instead of 3!

The guy who teaches my boot camps, for example? I've seen him lift weights.  He lifts so much that he has to use a special device to keep it stable in his hands so he doesn't lose control of it and drop it.  He's far from huge! He's lean and cut, and has a very low body fat percentage, but he isn't bulky, in any sense of the word!  And he's a dude!

I lift heavy because I want to be strong. I will likely have broader shoulders than most women, because I'm built that way... while I have a small bone structure, I'm a tall woman (5'7) and curvy.  I will never be 130 lbs... and frankly, I don't want to be. When I was a teen, I was proud of the fact that I was heavier than I looked... 145, because I was STRONG. Muscular.

I want to be able to pick up heavy things. Not need help opening pickle jars. I want to have the strong muscles of a powerful woman.

I love how lifting heavy makes me feel.  Is it as heavy as some people? Not yet.  I'm getting there. But it's a study in opposites to look at the others in my classes. Where I'm lifting 25 lbs (two 10 lb weights on a 5 lb dumbell) they're lifting 15, or 10... or less!  And they have been for MONTHS. I know these people; they're friends and comrades, and they have been lifting this way for a long time, so it's not a matter of not being able to, yet.  But I have noticed something since I started ignoring the 7 1/2 lb weights for the 10s.

More people graduated from 5 lb weights to 7 1/2.

Is it because of me? I don't know. I'd like to hope so. But if me lifting heavy in a group Body Blast class inspires a classmate or two to go a bit more challenging... then that's okay with me. :)

I'm not weak. And neither are you.

A lot of times we berate ourselves for not being strong enough to do certain things. Women are the worst, too; we can't do many "boy" pushups, or a pullup... we call ourselves weak, and plan to be strong.

Here's the thing about that: YOU ARE NOT WEAK.

Weak people don't even try to do a pull up. Weak people don't care if they can't do a real pushup. Weak people don't make a plan to be able to do new things.

Weak people don't challenge themselves. Weak people don't try to make their lives better.

Weak people are content to live in their own misery. I'm not. And I doubt you are, either.

Yesterday while doing Boot Camp, our instructor had us do a lift where we held our barbells out straight, lowered our arms, and raised them again to head height. (I don't know what that's called.) It's really hard, especially for women, because those muscles are generally "weak" in women.

I was annoyed with myself because I was only able to do 10 of the first set, had to pause, and finish the last 3. It was a total of 16 reps for everyone else. I don't like not being able to finish reps... I pride myself on my strength, and love that I can do it.

Everyone else raised their eyebrows, and the instructor said "I'm surprised you did that many!"

You see, aside from the instructor himself... I had the heaviest weight in the class. Everyone else was using 2 1/2 or 5 lb weights on their barbells... I was using 7 1/2.

That, my dears, is not weak. I put more effort into my routine that anyone else had in that moment, and I kept fighting. I only missed 3 reps.

That, my friends, means I'm strong. NOT weak. STRONG.

And so are you. So don't look at what you can't do, and decide you're weaker for it. Look at what you CAN do, and realize just how powerful you really are.

My new goals, and my latest successes

This has been an incredible week. I've really been motivated, and I've been absolutely successful at meeting my nutrition goals. My Sparkpeople Nutrition Tracker helps me track my calories, and I've been sticking with the program. I've been working out regularly, and have started a 10 minute fitness challenge. Not for during the week, really, because I have no real trouble getting to the gym anymore (except when my daughter's not in school, but that's another blog post entirely) and I work my ass off in those classes. The 10 minute fitness challenge is for the weekends, because I tend to sit on my butt all weekend in front of the computer. So my goal is to consistently get a minimum of 10 minutes of activity a day... no exceptions. Even on the weekends!

Saturday was fantastic. My whole family got up and went out in the street to play! The girls rode their scooters, my husband bought a new skateboard, and I walked the dog! It was just plain fun.

I ate well (which is a major accomplishment) and did so without denial. I even pigged out on grilled ribs.

Last night was a real dietary accomplishment. My family adores Old El Paso enchiladas. You can get a dinner kit, and they eat the heck out of them. Problem is... they're TERRIBLE. 1 serving is almost 400 calories, and that's without all the extras I like, sour cream, extra cheese, etc.

Well, I got to looking, and realized a LOT of the calorie oomph is from the flour tortillas. If I dump those... that cuts the count in HALF.

Holy cow.

So I made up a recipe here on sparkrecipes (here, if you're interested) and realized that with this, a serving is under 200 calories! That INCLUDES my cheese! This also means I can add other toppings like sour cream and olives guilt-free.

To top it all off, the real icing on the cake, today I weighed in... and I've lost THREE POUNDS. I've gone from 196.4 to 193.6. That is phenomenal! I'm so proud of myself, especially after my recent 8 lb setback. I hit 190, then ballooned back up to 198 because I got lazy. I'm so proud of myself. The best part of all of this is I'm making a lifestyle change. I'm changing how I think of food. Yesterday I got a vanilla coke from the fridge for my daily caffeine fix. I drank half of the can, and just plain decided I wanted water more. IT didn't taste right, and I was craving water. Today, I did it again.. only this time, I grabbed the coke, wrinkled my nose at it, and put it BACK in the fridge... I've been drinking water since.

I can't believe it. It's really, truly happening.

Great abs are made in the kitchen... not in the gym

I just heard this ancient nugget of wisdom, and while the attribution for the original quote ranges widely (up to and including Arnold Schwarzenneger) the point behind it is simple.

Doing 1,000 crunches won't result in washboard abs.

What I think is a better quote is that "Great abs are made in the gym, but revealed in the kitchen."

What does this mean, exactly?

One big myth you'll hear a lot of overweight wannabe exercisers state is that they want to target X body part, or lose weight there. Back at the beginning of the year, I watched two ladies with very large backsides and thighs do the same thing for the two weeks they were there. Walk on the treadmill, then get on the thigh machines.

Day after day.

It was clear that they wanted to lose weight in their thighs.

Thing is, exercise doesn't work like that. Oh, you can tone your arms, or crunch your way to washboard abs... but you're not going to lose weight by doing planks.

You have to eat right! My trainer at the gym tells us often: You can't out-exercise a bad diet.

See, I'm one of those lucky people who carries most of her weight in her abdominal area. Heck, look at the title of my blog!

What the "great abs are made in the kitchen" means is that you have to eat right, because when you gain weight, you'll gain it wherever you're genetically predisposed to do. Right now, when I tighten my abs, I can FEEL the strength. I've been working on them hard, for five months. I HAVE washboard abs.

They're just hidden under 30 lbs of eeew.

So what I have to do is lose weight... I can't lose weight in targeted areas, I have to lose weight ALL OVER. By eating less than I burn, regularly exercising, I can lose that weight, and eventually, my gut will go. I'll show off the washboard abs I can FEEL under all that fat. My genetics tell me that my stress and my overeating puts weight there.

My habits in the kitchen will defeat it. I can do more crunches than anyone I know... but I won't be able to see them until my eating habits are caught up.

So let's spread the word:

Great abs are made in the gym, but REVEALED in the kitchen!

Tai Chi and Trying to Recover

So this week put me face-to-face with my nemesis: School breaks. See, my routine during the week is to drop my kiddo off at school, then head straight to the gym, where I work out for 1-2 hours, depending on what classes are available.

On weekends, and when my daughter is out of school, I find it very difficult to get up in the morning. See, I work from home, and pretty much crawl out of bed when I like, and hit the computer. I'm not a morning person, and tend to not go to the gym if I don't go first thing. There's always something else going on to distract me.

So my daughter had three days off this week. So that meant I didn't go to the gym for three days this week. I'm already planning for the summer, though; I've made a friend at the gym, and I've already told her that when summer gets here, she's getting my number, and she's to text and nag me to come to class with her.

This SUCKS. I'm already gaining weight from not tracking my caloric intake (I've been good today, actually tracking my food, but I've been BAAD for several weeks, and gained back almost 9 lbs.) The stress level in this house has been catastrophic lately, too. My husband has been very sick. He ended up in the ER yesterday thanks to a nasty seizure last night. He slipped a disc, fractured his foot, and dislocated his jaw a bit. He's been sick almost constantly for weeks, and my stress level has just been through the roof. I think that's part of why I gained weight; I snack when I'm stressed. I'm trying to be more mindful, and have made sure to stock HEALTHY snacks.

Now, in more fun news: My daughter LOVES Tai Chi. After watching Kung Fu Panda 2, she wanted to try Tai Chi, and since I have a Tai Chi video, I put it on for her, and we did Tai Chi for 20 minutes while supper was getting ready. She loved it (she's 6) and it was good for me, too. I think we're going to start doing it more often, because she was so relaxed. She's a bit hyperactive, so anything that calms her down is good. I think Tai Chi would be good for her, too, because it gives her an awareness of what her body is doing, where it is, and how to make it do what she wants. She needs better balance, too. She's starting soccer this weekend, so I think being able to follow instructions and focus on her body will be extra good practice for soccer.

Tomorrow it's back to the gym, and I'm going to bust my butt to make up for the effort I've wasted this week.

Working out sucks when you're a mom

And not for the reasons you think.

It's the little known horror of the aerobics class. Jumping jacks are your bane. And if you're smiling or nodding, you already know what I'm about to talk about.

Let's start with this morning. It started out as many of my mornings do; dragging out of bed some 30 minute after the alarm went off (I know, I know, I'm working on that. My snooze button gets overused.) I took the kid to school, and raced to the gym to catch the first class of the morning. It's a boot camp class, one of those "who the heck KNOWS what's coming next" sorts of things. We ran, we lunged, we generally grunted and groaned.

Then, the instructor told us WE would pick the next set of exercises. We stood in a circle, and took turns leading the group (about 6) in an exercise. Squats. Burpees. Windmills. Then... my bane of banes. Jumping jacks.

Not just a few, either. FIFTY jumping jacks.

Now, I'm hardly a newbie in the fitness world; on the technical side of things, jumping jacks aren't difficult. I have the physical capability of.

No, my friend, my problem with jumping jacks is Mom's Bane. My bladder.

Oh yes. I peed ALL OVER myself. This was, sadly enough, only 30 minutes into this hour long class. I usually wear protection, but this time I'd forgotten, and wasn't too worried about it since we usually do weight training in this class on Thursdays.

Fate has a funny way of treating you. I was thankful I'd worn a long t-shirt instead of my usual -torso-hugging workout shirt. It hid the worst of it, but I was about to die of embarrassment. This was a mixed class, with guys and girls. The girls know... and one friend shared my horror with sympathetic frowns when I told her.

I decided to finish, but then I intended to go home and change out my wet pants for something less... toddler-accident-ish.

But you know something? After the class, I was ready to flee in shame, and I realized something.

No one cared. No one stared, commented, nor looked. The only one who knew was a classmate who has the same problem. So instead of skipping out on my next class, an hour-long weight class, I said screw it... I'm staying.

So I did. And I even told the instructor, and she was proud of me for sticking with it. The other ladies in that class (all the guys chickened out, they think that our 5 and 7 lb weights are girly) sympathized and told me in conspiratorial tones they had the same problem.

So I finished my class, and my biceps are screaming. I could have run home, but I didn't.

So what if they had noticed. No one cares. Everyone's generally polite enough that even if they did notice, they're certainly not going to say anything. So if you worry about people laughing at your thighs, or looking like a dummy in Zumba or not knowing what to do in that spinning class... remember me. Remember my urine-soaked panties and gigantic wet spot, and know that if I can get through an hour and a half of gym class with that, you can manage to look a little silly.

Besides, all of us started somewhere. Five months ago, I was the newbie in the class. I was the one standing in the back, embarrassed by my flopping belly and jiggling thighs.

And I'm already looking, and feeling great. And when a newbie comes in class with that deer-in-headlights look, I smile, introduce myself, and tell her that she's going to love it.

New faces at the gym

It's January, which means it's Resolution Time, and the gym is full of those new resolutioners.

I've been there long enough that I'm a Regular, the trainers know me, and some of the patrons from my classes know me too. I know a couple of them by name, though no one calls me by name, I take pleasure in being one of the "in" crowd.

There's a distinct increase in busy-ness that I figure will slack off in a few weeks as people realize that Losing Weight Requires Discipline, and those half-hearted attempts to lift weights won't actually result in weight loss without something else involved.

There's Dreds girl. She's got an ENORMOUS head of messy, kinda nasty-looking dreds. Now, I like dreds, generally; I like the small, neat rows, carefully maintained. But the thick, slept-in icky ones? No thanks. Her hair is twice as big around as the rest of her. She's one of those who wants to lose weight, but doesn't have much to lose; she's soft, but not huge. She'll probably quit when she realizes six pack abs don't happen in six weeks of bench presses. She's usually got a Man hovering around her, telling her what to do. He's not one of the trainers.

Then there's Let's Work Together resolution pair. They're both substantially overweight, and clearly there for moral support. I'm all for it; it's so much easier now for me now that I have friends there at the gym who notice when I'm making progress, and shout encouragements when the trainer's being particularly brutal.

The problem with this one is they're there for 30 minutes, work the same four machines in the same order, and do so at such a low speed and weight that they're not actually DOING anything. They talk the whole time, and you can watch; they're clearly working the "lose weight in X body part by doing X exercise" myth, because they have large thighs and are always working the thigh machines. They'll stop moving when they talk, and then remember to keep moving the weights. They won't last long, because what they're doing will do nothing in the end to reduce anything. I want them to succeed, and have even tried to encourage them to join me in the classes (I'm familiar with one of them, in passing "hello, we live in the same area" sort of way.)

They're afraid, though. They're afraid they'll look stupid, or that people will point and laugh. THe thing I learned pretty quickly about that is no one does... they're too busy worrying about looking stupid themselves, or just trying to get through the next exercise without falling over!

There's a sort of camaraderie in these classes, a shared trial of pain, that means you can shout and grunt and groan and everyone laughs and grunts and groans and shouts with you, because it HURTS, and you're all hurting.

Part of me wants the newbies to hurry up and fail and go home so I can have My Treadmill back, but the other part wants them to succeed so I can learn their names and shout encouragement when they do the classes with me.

I know they won't, though.

Then there's My Boyfriend Will Make Me Pretty. He stands over her, tells her how to use the machine, sets the weight way too high for her to handle, and laughs when she can't do as many reps as he can. Then he tells her to get up and he shows her how a Real Man does it.

Then they move to another machine, and they repeat it. She's wearing a cute outfit with words across her butt, probably "Juicy." She's already pretty, but he clearly wants her to be prettier, and she's letting him bully her into something that she hates. She won't last long, because she's not there for herself, she's there for him, and when he gets bored of being better than she is, he'll stop forcing her to go.

I wonder if he's paying for her membership.

Then there's the Old Couple. They're so adorable, and I love them. The guy comes, his wife sets him up on the treadmill, and presses all the buttons for him. He starts walking, and she joins us in our scary classes, and does a great job. I don't know her name yet. But I like her, and always make a point to talk to her after class.

One lady isn't a newbie at all; she's been going longer than I have, and she's got incredible focus. She's very overweight, but she's SO determined, and I've seen a definite change in her body - what she's doing is working. She works the cardio machines for hours, never makes eye contact, never uses the lockers, and works the weights constantly. She's making a life change, and it shows. I want to tell her that I've noticed her progress, and she's doing a great job, but she's very close-off from the world, and in four months, I've never even been able to catch a glance, so I don't want to intrude on her zone, since she's clearly IN IT.

I like to people watch in the gym.

Wait a minute...

With the influx of New Year's inspired emails, promotions, and TV shows, I'm listening to a lot of the advice being thrown around, and something occurred to me.

I'm not a beginner anymore. I don't even know if I'm intermediate. I've been doing the kinds of exercises in my classes that you see on Biggest Loser in those crazy Last Chance workouts.

I've been at this for over four months now, eating right, exercising; this isn't some New Year's fad for me. It's becoming a lifestyle.

And you know something? I like it. It's cool to encourage other people that I don't recognize to join a tough class at the gym, or get to know my fellow exercisers by name. To offer to run a 5k with a friend who's been struggling with her goals.

To be offering advice to those who are just starting, trying to pursue their New Year's dreams.

Wow. I'm not a beginner anymore. That is an awesome, awesome feeling.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

The truth is... there is no ugly in this post. There's not even that much bad!

Over the holidays, I totally failed at my fitness goals. I went to the gym once, didn't exercise at home, and frankly, the only thing I did to exercise was I walked with my nieces for a couple of miles over Christmas.

Still though... I watched what I ate, made a lot of healthy choices, and only had two "naughty" days of eating... out of two weeks! I'm very proud of that. And those naughty days were totally earned. I had a trip to Outback Steakhouse, and one Waffle House morning breakfast that I allow myself to enjoy occasionally. AT least I don't go three or four times a week like I was doing!

I got a new digital scale at home for Christmas, so I've been using that... it seems to match up closely with the one at the gym. So I did what I haven't been able to... I weighed myself for real, naked. See, at the gym, I have to stand outside of the locker room fully clothed to weigh myself. So Monday, I got on my home scale when I woke up, stripped down, and decided to see what I REALLY weigh.

190.

ONE HUNDRED NINETY POUNDS. I even weighed myself again after zeroing the scale to make sure.

That means I've lost over 20 lbs.

That makes me SOO, so happy. And I had my very first comment Sunday morning about losing weight. The nursery lady asked me if I'd lost weight, and I was able to finally smile and say yes!

That is a good, good feeling!

OUCH my hamstrings

I've been taking a lot of classes at the gym, and I'm loving it so much. I'm not losing tons of weight like I was at the beginning;I've plateaued a bit. I'm losing about a lb a week, though, although this week I gained half a pound in spite of my best efforts.

My running training is way off... I took up a couple of new aerobics classes -one known only as "Heart Pumpin'". What she should call the stupid thing is "Heart Explodin"

It's left me too sort to run. I don't mind. :) I'm getting a great workout, and I figure I'll start running when I get used to this level of exercise. I am working on an informal interval training thing when the other classes don't leave me so wiped out I can't function. Last week's was so bad Monday that after Monday's THIRTY MINUTE session, I didn't walk right until Thursday. It hurts So good. This trainer really knows what she's doing, and she knows what I can do... and she makes me DO it. I love it.

The only thing I don't like is when we go outside and it's cold. Getting your heartrate up that high in the cold HURTS your lungs.

Right now, after her class, my hamstrings and my butt hurts. I think abs might have given me some soreness, too. I picked up another great class Friday by another trainer. This one's for an hour, and it's a whole-body workout, including weight training and aerobics, core and everything. I love it! it's only once a week, though. Most of the whole-body stuff is in the evenings, and it's just so hard for me to get to the gym in the evenings, plus it's more crowded.

so even though I gained a half pound, this week, I still feel great. Noticed during a staff meeting last week that my neck looks thinner. I haven't measured anything since my first month back; I need to do that!

I haven't fallen off the wagon!

I bet you thought I'd abandoned you, since my 5k victory. :)

Hardly! I've just been so busy, I've been having a hard time finding the time to compose another blog post.

This week, I started two new things; I'm starting an informal cycling training on my interval days to cross train for running, to build up to riding my bike across the the Golden Gate Bridge when I go to San Francisco!

The other thing happened quite by accident, but has proven to be awesome. See, Monday, I got to the gym a little earlier than I usually do, and the trainer who does my ab class noticed me, and thought I was there for her 8:30 "Heart Pumpin'" class - something I didn't even know was on the schedule, and had never done. So she told me to come on in... even though I was the only one there! Well, I couldn't think of a good reason not to, and I had no idea what to expect.

Well, she spent the next 30 minutes attempting to kill me.

I ran, I jumped, I breathed so hard I thought my heart would explode.

But it felt GOOD. It was like having a real personal trainer (as in, paying the extra for one) because I was the only one in the class, but it was part of the gym membership, since it was a class!

Her ab class followed immediately after. She's REALLY good... once she has an idea what your fitness level is like, she pushes you to extend it, and even though you think you can't possibly go on another step... you do anyway, because she's there driving you along.

So after 30 minutes of hell, I did the ab class, which I've always loved. She watches each class member, and gives you weights based on your fitness level. She always shakes it up, and you NEVER know what muscle group you're going to work, nor what she's going to do.

I had no energy for my running plan after that, but she DID have me running during the first class, since I told her I was training for a 5k! I walked a mile and a half to cool down afterwards. All told, that was an hour and a half of intense workout!

I rested the next day, which hurt SO much... but today, I did it again. On purpose, this time. :) It was so hard, I turned absolutely crimson and was wheezing like an asthmatic monkey, and I had to take a little tylenol when I got home, but I feel SO good.

And the best part? I decided that since I started this new, intense workout with the gym, that I would go ahead and repeat week one on the Rookie Running Program on the treadmill. And I did it! AND I pushed on my intervals. Since I did 60 seconds last week, I pushed it to 75 seconds this week, and tried to walk shorter intervals by a few seconds. . That last run felt SO good, I was grinning like an idiot, talking to myself... the other people on the treadmills to either side of me probably thought I was nuts. ;)

I also came home and ate a HUGE breakfast... sausage and a toaster strudel, and I've been eyeballing that banana in the kitchen. I needed to refuel! Also drank three full water bottles of water while I was working out. So there's my 6 cup minimum, and I'm still drinking. ;)

Amazing how no exercise makes you feel ick.

I didn't exercise at all this weekend; it's been a steady stream of soloing at parenting, trips to the ER (husband has been very, very sick lately) and just plain being unmotivated. I got another "are you pregnant?" comment from one of the deli ladies at the grocery store.

I got to the gym this morning feeling unenergetic, and not really wanting to go. However, although I missed my last day of week 4, it's time for me to start the final week of the Trick or Treat Trot training plan. I think I'm actually going to modify it, because it's based on the premise that I'm going to be walking Friday/Saturday in my 5k, but I joined a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k on the 15th. So I might repeat my week 4 training, since I missed a day anyway.

On the eating front, it was also a pretty bad weekend. I was stressed, so I overindulged in some empty calories (stupid sodas.)

I pushed through my workout this morning, though, even though I REALLY didn't want to finish it. About 2/3 of the way through, I started to feel better, and the last half mile wasn't so bad.

I think I might try another walk this afternoon after I pick up Elisabeth from school, so I can get our blood pumping. Depends on the temperature, though. Though technically Fall has started... it's still in the low 90s outside, and with all this (much needed) rain we've been having, it's muggy as hell.

I wish my 6 year old could work out with me at the gym.

Bad weekend gets worse

I've been posting over at my blog on Sparkpeople, but I keep forgetting to repost here! I won't just copy everything, but I will summarize what's been going on lately.

It's been a bad weekend, and a worse week.

It started out great; Friday was hard, for a variety of reasons; suffice it to say I was taking care of three kids instead of my usual two. ;) Saturday was awesome. I attended a writer's workshop (for free) and went to the Ocmulgee Indian Festival that evening.

Sunday though... Sunday went to hell. The girls were outside playing, as they do almost every day. All of a sudden, I hear one of my dogs raising hell, and my youngest daughter started screaming.

I go outside to see my 10 year old basset hound/cocker spaniel mix attacking my three year old. She was covered in blood, cowered, and he was trying to go for her throat. I snatched him off and tossed him off the porch, putting myself between her and the dog. My husband came out, and when he grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck to carry him back to the back yard to be tied up, the dog bit him, too.

I took my daughters to the ER, and told him the dog was to be gone by the time I got back.

Countless hours later, I was back, the dog was buried in the back yard, and we managed to avoid stitches entirely. She's on a round of antibiotics. I hardly ate anything that day, so I was well under my calorie count.

Monday, I forgot to eat breakfast AND lunch. Not good. I did make an amazing pot of chicken and dumplings for supper, though, even though I didn't eat a lot of it. It was so good!

The problem with Monday was when animal control called and told me that they had to have the body of the dog for rabies testing.

My husband was at the hospital for a kidney stone. And collapsed on his way out of the hospital in a panic attack, so got stuck for a few more hours.

So I had to dig up my beloved pet, throw him in a trash bag, and give him to an animal control officer by myself.

I'd really, really rather not ever have to deal with a bloadsoaked child, exhume a dead pet, and do it all while dealing with an incapacitated husband in the hospital.

So... today. I ended up sleeping in, not taking my daughter to school or going to the gym, because my husband went BACK to the ER in the middle of the night last night because the kidney stone got stuck.

I also skipped my kickboxing class tonight because I couldn't leave my husband alone with my kids in his state.

So. I'm undereating, not exercising enough, and feeling like poo.

I do, however, have a plan.

I will attend at least two others classes this week. Tomorrow, I will do the ab class in the morning. I'll choose another class at some point... I think Zumba's Thursday, so I might try that out.

I will go to the gym tonight after the girls are in bed to do some crosstraining, probably on the stationary bike, maybe some strength training.

I will not kill my family for having a bad week. It's not their fault they need me.

On a bright note, I got a lovely necklace at the Indian Festival. It was handmade by a Native American, and it's got an eagle. I've always been very drawn to birds of prey. I don't want to be so presumptuous as to say it's my "totem", but it's also the subject of my favorite scripture, which I wear on a leather bracelet every day. (Isaiah 40:31, if you're interested.) It was also my dad's favorite scripture.

Anyway, here it is. I just love this necklace.

Weekly Weigh-in

I dropped another 3.4 lbs this week! That's probably a little faster than is strictly necessary, but I'm overweight enough that I feel comfortable with it. It's not like I'm dropping 10 lbs in a week. ;)

So I'm down to 204.6. That's just... awesome. The gym membership is really paying off. I've been seriously watching my caloric intake, which is keeping me from losing progress to inactivity.

I did an ab class today, a half hour and man, she's good. I have trouble doing some of the exercises, mostly because she's got a narrow little trainer's behind, and mine is... not. It's a good bit larger. ;) So my hips often scream at the stress. I worked up a GOOD sweat today. Walked for 37 minutes (30 minutes on the 5k your way plan, then a 7 minute cooldown walk after the ab class. I'm planning on going to the kickboxing class tomorrow night.

I feel so good right now. I really am seeing measurable results, and that's just awesome.