I'm not weak. And neither are you.

A lot of times we berate ourselves for not being strong enough to do certain things. Women are the worst, too; we can't do many "boy" pushups, or a pullup... we call ourselves weak, and plan to be strong.

Here's the thing about that: YOU ARE NOT WEAK.

Weak people don't even try to do a pull up. Weak people don't care if they can't do a real pushup. Weak people don't make a plan to be able to do new things.

Weak people don't challenge themselves. Weak people don't try to make their lives better.

Weak people are content to live in their own misery. I'm not. And I doubt you are, either.

Yesterday while doing Boot Camp, our instructor had us do a lift where we held our barbells out straight, lowered our arms, and raised them again to head height. (I don't know what that's called.) It's really hard, especially for women, because those muscles are generally "weak" in women.

I was annoyed with myself because I was only able to do 10 of the first set, had to pause, and finish the last 3. It was a total of 16 reps for everyone else. I don't like not being able to finish reps... I pride myself on my strength, and love that I can do it.

Everyone else raised their eyebrows, and the instructor said "I'm surprised you did that many!"

You see, aside from the instructor himself... I had the heaviest weight in the class. Everyone else was using 2 1/2 or 5 lb weights on their barbells... I was using 7 1/2.

That, my dears, is not weak. I put more effort into my routine that anyone else had in that moment, and I kept fighting. I only missed 3 reps.

That, my friends, means I'm strong. NOT weak. STRONG.

And so are you. So don't look at what you can't do, and decide you're weaker for it. Look at what you CAN do, and realize just how powerful you really are.

Visible progress

I've been feeling a little down today, because while I'm making tons of great progress, my "I'm not pregnant, just fat" belly still persists. It's frustrating because I'm doing everything right; I know that I can't spot-reduce trouble zones, and I eat well. I'm steadily losing weight, even if the last couple of weeks has been tougher and I probably gained a couple of pounds with all the stress eating.

It's just that this gut is what people see when they see me. THey don't see the toned calves, the growing biceps, the strong forearms and narrower hips and shoulders.

They see the massive gut. They think "fat and lazy."

It's not true, but my patience is running thin. So today, I decided to finally share my before pictures, and my current (as of an hour ago) progress photos. Taking my progress photos has made me feel better, because *I* can see it!

This is me on September 8, 2011:

And this is me today, March 16, 2012.

I have muscle definition, especially in my calves and arms. My back looks so much better. I feel better. I just have to keep reminding myself that my faux-preggo gut WILL go away. It's not permanent, and it's also very susceptible to me eating. It swells when I eat. :)

Most importantly, I can see my feet.

I'd say I look a whole lot better.

I just. have to keep my eye on the prize. I CAN do this. I know I will. I'm doing it already. Little setbacks like the last week are still that; even after a week of eating out and not counting ANYTHING, I still look better than I did 6 months ago!

Although that laundry pile hasn't improved one bit... sigh.

Adventures in Healthy Eating

So today I tried a new experiment. One of my trainers at the gym posted a fantastic Rachael Ray recipe for Parmesan Crusted Tilapia, and I had to try it, and I even attempted to make it healthy enough for my whole family to eat! Not only did I succeed, it was fantastic, and I'm stupidly stuff, and still haven't met my calorie minimum for the day.

Here's the base recipe I tried. I also made southern style squash and onions, and served it over white rice with a side salad. I used a more substantial parmesan for it, so my was a bit... err. crustier. But SO good.

Here's the plate I fixed for my 6 year old (alas, my 3 year old refused everything. I swear, I give up.)

And here's my plate. I'm especially proud of the presentation, and the fact that I drizzled my dressing instead of drowning the salad in it!

Total calories, WITH double helpings of the fish? 583 calories. WOOT. (No, I didn't eat all that rice. I ate about half a cup.)