Words are POWERFUL.
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
If I could find the person who came up with that nonsense, I'd go back in time and assassinate them. Those 13 words are the most damaging, destructive words ever uttered, which is even more ironic given their intended meaning. Broken bones will mend, but words leave marks that never heal.
Words define us. They create our minds, express our thoughts, make us see people in different ways. Words can tear down the greatest monarch, or build up the smallest child.
If you tell yourself over and over that this is a bad day, and it's just going to get worse... it will.
Tell yourself that this is just a blip on the screen, and it'll all be okay... it will.
Tell yourself you're ugly, and others will see you that way.
Tell yourself that you're fat, and you are.
Tell yourself that you're going to be healthy, and you're going to start marching down that path to health and living well.
Tell yourself that you're beautiful, no matter your size, and you will start to feel and look better in your own skin.
I am overweight. But I look in the mirror, and I smile. Though I'm not even halfway to my goal yet, I feel GREAT. I look so amazing compared to the way I did this time last year. There isn't even a way to compare the two.
If I found my daughter calling herself ugly, I wouldn't tolerate that. She's beautiful, no matter what she looks like, and I won't hear her talk that way about herself. I wouldn't let anyone else talk that way about her.
If I won't let someone else call my daughter names, why should I let anyone else? I'm worth just as much as she is. She came from me, after all! She had to get that worth from somewhere. I'm someone's daughter. My mom wouldn't tolerate anyone calling me names. She loves me! It can be hard for us to love ourselves, but if you want to succeed, it's time to learn.
Stop calling yourself names. Don't abuse yourself. Think in positive terms. I know, it sounds cheesy and new-age-pop-psychology. But it's true. Negative thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I told my husband today that if he kept insisting that this was a terrible day, and it was just one bad thing after another, it was going to be a bad day.
Stop taking abuse. Don't take it from your husband. Your mother. Your best friend. From YOU.
You are WORTH MORE than that. You are not fat. You are NOT gross. You are NOT ugly.
You are you. You are worth the time to be healthy. You are worth the effort to be fit.
Find words to describe you that aren't tearing you down. Need help? Ask me. I'll find some for you. I'm good with words. I like them. I know a LOT OF THEM.
Here, let me start you out:
Amazing
Beautiful
Strong
Wonderful
Determined
Loved
Dependable
Organized
Smart
Excellent
Active
Fantastic
Fun
Caring
Interesting
Happy
Bravo! Positive self talk is so important to building confidence. Some times I think something mean about myself, and then I say No! No, Kelly, you are an amazing person.
ReplyDeleteI'm overweight myself, and I'm trying to lose some pounds, but not because I want to look "good," but because I want to take care of my beautiful body. :) (I'd also like to fit into my old jeans so I don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe.) I realized how much I really hated my body, and decided that just wasn't acceptable any more, especially not for a feminist like me. Self talk went a REALLY long way.